Patrick Stewart tells Drew Barrymore to shut her face, hurls Hey Arnold in Paramount+ Super Bowl ad

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Would you believe that he also sings Creed and threatens Peppa Pig?

By Wesley Stenzel 

Paramount’s corporate synergy has hit a new high.

In the newly-unveiled Super Bowl ad for Paramount+, Sir Patrick Stewart, Drew Barrymore, Arnold from Hey Arnold!, Master Chief, and many more attempt to scale a massive snowy mountain together. “I can’t get that thing up there,” Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa says after a grappling hook fails to reach the top of a massive cliff. “If it were a football, I’d be able to reach the top.”

Patrick Stewart Drew Barrymore

Stewart has another idea. “What about a football shaped head?” Stewart suggests, looking at Arnold. “We throw the child.”

“Gutsy call, sir,” says Thomas Lennon’s Lieutenant Jim Dangle from Reno 911. “Smart thinking,” adds Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

One brave soul opposes the plan. “What? No, that’s dumb thinking. He’s not throwing Arnold!” interjects Drew Barrymore. “You can’t throw a child at a wall!”

After Survivor’s Jeff Probst offers Arnold an immunity idol, Stewart furiously shouts, “Barrymore, shut your face! Unless you prefer to freeze to death.”

The quarterback sides with Barrymore. “I’m not gonna throw a kid,” Tagovailoa insists.

Stewart then takes matters into his own hands. “Not built for the moment I see. Fine. I’ll throw him,” he says, revealing an old-school football uniform underneath his coat. “Watch and learn.”

Paramount+ Super Bowl ad

The Star Trek: Picard actor then shows off his expansive understanding of American sports. “It’s the fifth quarter, and we need a hole-in-one before the seventh inning stretch. Be brave,” he tells Arnold before kissing him on the forehead and hurling him at the mountain.

That’s when the band Creed appears, playing their 1999 song “Higher.” “I just threw him higher to a place where we won’t freeze,” Stewart sings along to Creed’s music.

The strategy doesn’t quite pan out, so at the end of the commercial, Stewart starts whipping up a ba

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